My oldest sister - aslo my godmother - is of the paranoid kind, so if I happen to say I miss my best friend, she naturally assumes she and I are secret lovers and I'm a closeted lesbian. She has a funny way of approaching things. She tries to be subtle, but we all know her too well, and as soon as she utters the words, "Uh, can I talk to you?" we all immediately know what she wants to get at, regardless of the situation or matter at hand. So when we sat by the pool last week and she said, "Can I talk to you about your friend?" my first response was, "We're best friends. And that's all there is to it."
My sister was still intrigued at how strongly I felt about my best friend. In the end, and like all our arguments, my sister realized she and I feel things differently. Obviously. Still, the whole thing made me laugh. But not to her face. It sure was a fun thing to watch, though; my oldest sister trying not to be too suspicious of my sexual orientation. Sometimes she'd try to find evidence to back up her maybe-theory in the oddest places. For instance, we had a conversation that went like this:
Sister: Why did you choose a black Mac? (Subtext: Not only are you gay, but you're the guy in your secret lesbian relationship)
Me: It just came in that color.
Sister: But... why not a white one? (Subtext: Why didn't you get a girlier color?)
Me: It's not a new Mac; I bought it from somebody else.
Sister: So you didn't specifically pick the color? (Subtext: You're not gay?)
Sister: Oh, I see. (Subtext: YAAAAAAY!)
To make sure she'd drop the issue entirely, I added:
Me: I wish they made pink Macs...
And she stopped questioning me. At least until two days later.