Friday, July 22, 2005

Here's a thought...


On Gorillas and War

Okay, I admit it: I wanna save the world.

I still think wearing sneakers or walking barefoot is better than wearing heels. My sister loves them, but let's face it: she's short. She's been wearing heels since Pinochet was in office and now she has Barbie feet. You know, with the foot arched and always on her tiptoes. Even when she's barefoot she walks on her tiptoes. She's that used to heels. And sometimes she's cranky but at least she's walking straight.

Maybe the world would be a better place if we respected animals. I love eating meat, I'm an omnivore, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna kick a cow before eating it. I bet cannibals are nice to their neighbors before they eat them. They say tension and stress affects your muscles and your flesh, so if you're gonna eat something/someone the least you can do is be nice to them.

And let's drop the Godfatherish surprises. I don't want a horse's head in my bed. I don't even want a pony's head in my bed. You know what I want in my bed? Sheets and my stuffed gorilla. I actually have a stuffed gorilla and we have a very healthy relationship. She listens to everything I say and breaks sense into me. It's like the conscience I've always had only it's materialized in an ugly gorilla. Or like the imaginary horse I refused to let go when my childhood was over and reincarnated in the gorilla.

Maybe we all need to have an imaginary friend or a gorilla to talk to. It can also be a Sponge Bob or a lovely pink Patrick, whatever suits your fancy. They come in really handy when you know exactly what you have to do but you need an extra push to actually do it. It's like your coach, it encourages you to do something you already know you have to do. Ever felt like that? Like you know you have to do but you don't want to do it for some reason? That's when Stuffed Pal comes into the picture like a sweaty hero holding the remains of a flag with orchestra music in the background and says in a hoarse voice: "Do it, bitch"

Yeah, we need more stuffed animals in our beds. Some people prefer action figures, but that's them.

I think the world would be better if we all listened instead of pretending to listen.

I think the world would be better if the media didn’t manipulate information and covered what really matters. Do I really need to know how much Britney spent on her own engagement ring? And it’s a hypocrite attitude for me to say that ‘cause I’ve commented on Britney and other megasuperstars on my previous posts, but that’s a consequence of the media. I just don’t want to see the latest of the Michael Jackson trial after the report on Hurricane Emily.

That’s exactly why E! is such a good thing. E! News Live is awesome for two reasons: Giuliana DePandi and Patrick Stinson. They’re funny, they have good onscreen chemistry and they’re not afraid of laughing at themselves. It’s okay for E! to talk about celebrities and showbiz because it’s an entire channel dedicated to that. That’s why the other stations should stick to real news.

But hey, Hollywood sells (a whole lot) and in the end it’s all about ratings and sponsors.

We’re not focused on what matters. We’re not focused on Africa and all the starving children. Ideas like Live 8 are great, people and leaders go there to help. But do you really think certain leaders will let go of their own concerns to help others?

Some people say Live 8 was just a scam. They say Bush was there to clean up his image a little.

I think Bush really wants to help. He’s just doing it the wrong way. Take the troops back home! Some people think all the attacks and suicidal bombing are due to the occupation, while the occupants think if they leave things will go worst. Who do you believe? Is there a focal point in all this issue?

Others think I have no right to have an opinion on this matter, but let me tell you: I do. Chile has a seat in the U.N. and we opposed the war. What a bad time to be against it. We were just negotiating a trade treaty with the US. They threatened to forget about the treaty if w didn’t support you.

So let me get this straight: my country won’t grow unless we approve a war?

We said no anyway. The treaty was signed.

Tony Blair was pissing his pants. He said yes.

President Lagos was portrayed in a play in the UK. He had a small part, but it showed the moment when he said ‘no’ to the war. The audiences ALWAYS applauded that moment.

Bush came to Chile last year. He tried to break the protocol by bringing his guards into a room when no other leader was allowed to do that. His guards got in a fight. Lagos stopped them. I don't sympathize with Lagos' party but that man has some massive balls.

I think democracy is a great idea. It’s corrupted, like any other system, but I believe it’s good. So go and take democracy to Iraq. And while you’re at it, why don’t bring democracy to Cuba? Because it’s right next to you. National security first, of course, I respect and understand that. Still it’s horrifying when you visit Cuba and people in the street beg for you to give them the soaps from the hotel.